When I paint a new painting

one of my sketches

 Paintings after paintings, since I started to paint in my teenage years and after and from now on for ever, I always have the same feeling, the same fear, the same happiness when I paint.
It's just like when you start a new life, or it's just like the first day in a new job, or first hour in a new country.
In each new artwork, I go through a discovering journey, with a lots of research and reading, learning lessons from previous artists who made art similar to the one I'm intending to make.   It's not enough to be attentive to the details and work with an open eye,  you have to use your experience and your tools, you have to think how and what you are going to paint before even touching the canvas.

I start mine by thinking of an idea I got it as a result from something happening to me or a word that has influenced me, then I work on visualizing this idea or this word by collecting photos as much as I can. Usually  I use my own photos. I hunt to catch the best shot that really inspires me - OH,  I found it that's it.

NOW, It's time to dig in deeper and use lots and lots of your artistic talent, and here when I feel responsible. Even when I paint something I love to see it in my canvas I always think about those who are going to see the painting, and there isn't any other way to catch their eyes than talking to them.
I talk to the people through my painting either by saying something I mean, words to touch their concerns and get their attention, or by using a colour palette that really has intensive or strong colour or by using element from their life and paint it.

As an artsit, it's never been about me, inspite of that; I always wanted to show something or exhibit something, Like my skills for example or my knowledge or my materials or something I discovered
or something I read about or a new expierment, but I always wanted them to stop and pause then think and analyze to stimulate their curiosity. Them who is going to make me determine the composition of the painting, the size, the material, the form, the line and the colour palette.

I never start to paint before I work in my sketches and I mean lots of them, because I think this the only way to paint on the canvas with more confidence and it shortens the time to complete the painting, in other words I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING.
when I work on any painting with this process I feel I can give the most of every single knowledge I have or I gained. 

But the fear will remain and the happiness will flutter, because in this way I can make my unique artwork with my personal touches.